I feel like I’ve been living under a dark cloud for months, every time there seems to be a glimmer of light something happens to make it cloud over again. I am trying to stay strong, do all the things that are meant to help – eat healthily, exercise, talk to friends, engage in activities and remember that this too will pass. These are all tried and tested techniques for reducing the effects of depression, and yet my head tells me to withdraw from the world and eat food that is unhealthy, so everyday is a challenge as I fight against my instinct.
Usually knowing that eventually the feeling will pass is helpful. My head tells me that it’s not true and things will always be this way, but experience tells me this is not the case and there have been better times! The problem at the moment is that the feelings are linked to work and the intolerable situation I am experiencing. I have endeavoured to do everything I can to resolve the issues but with little success. I need my boss to take control and sort out the problems but this just isn’t happening and so it continues. An issue that should have been nipped in the bud in November still goes on today and I’m finding it unbearable. My job has always been something in my life that has kept me functional, something that harnesses my self-esteem, but as I experience work place bullying this is no longer the case. Although I have been a victim of bullying as a child, I never thought it would happen again, people see me as a strong leader at work so it’s been a shock to find myself back in that crushed state. I am seeking support and I known that this too will pass; I just hope it doesn’t destroy me or my career first.