Too many ‘Slobbers’ for my liking!

I can remember when I was in my early teens worrying about whether I would be able to kiss properly, it seemed so important to be able to be a ‘good kisser! Some of my girl friends and I would practice on each other, hoping to master the art so that when we finally had our first kiss with that special boy we would be ready. Little did I know that these experimental kisses would turn out to be some of the best ‘snogs’ I’ve ever had!

When you kiss someone you have connected with it can be amazing. It can feel so intimate and tender, conveying desire, closeness and connectivity. I love a good kiss! Unfortunately in my experience there are a lot of really terrible kissers out there, men who just seem to want to slobber all over me! I can feel quite excited by a guy and then he kisses me and it is such a horrible experience and huge disappointment that he never gets any further.

This year I have been dating again and have suffered some pretty horrendous kisses! One guy came in to kiss me and in doing so pushed against me so hard it was all I could do not to fall backwards. He then proceeded to try and suck my tongue out of my mouth, it felt like his teeth were in the way; it was an immediate turn off!

Then there was the guy who loved to lick! Now don’t get me wrong, I like a man who knows how to use his tongue, but using it to lick all over my face is just wrong; maybe he thought he was a dog!

The most common problem I’ve encountered is slobbering and I appear to have a sign on my head that says please come and slobber all over me because I’m sure I have more than my fair share of them! Instead of melting my heart and making me theirs, it is a sure fire way for the guy to close the door on anything further. I call these men ‘slobbers’. When they kiss their tongue seems to wander all over the place and it feels so sloppy. I have also found that slobbers seem to dominate the kiss, hardly giving me an opportunity to decide what I want to do. Most of the time it is like they are trying to get into my mouth and in doing so quite literally drool all over me. When there is a pause all I want to do is wipe my mouth and do all I can to stop the kissing!

My heart drops in despair when someone who has been entertaining me all evening with their charismatic conversation, intelligent discussion and enjoyable flirtations turns out to be yet another slobber. I have tried to make myself tolerate it, hoping that their technique might improve or together we can find a groove but with little success. The sad truth appears to be once a slobber always a slobber and it is something I just can’t help but find intolerable.


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